Bombs away

I really think people make movies about fantastic ideas because there's no other way to get these fantastic ideas realized. That's because no one dares to actually try these fantastic ideas in real life.

Take, for example, the concept of "killing them with kindness." After 9/11, what if instead of bombing the hell out of Afghanistan -- after which, of course, we felt obliged to go in and clean up our mess, costing nearly 1,000 American lives so far -- we just skipped Part A and went directly to Part B and started the rebuilding immediately? God knows Afghanistan needed it even before we bombed it!

Granted, some people would laugh at us derisively, and I dare say 99 percent of the American public would be outraged. What -- al-Qaida attacks us in spectacular fashion, and we respond by being NICE????

I'm not saying I can predict what would happen. I'm not even saying I can speculate on what I'd LIKE to happen. However, I CAN say that bombing is probably the least original, and maybe the least effective, response. Is al-Qaida on the run today? Hardly. Where's Osama bin Laden? Who knows? (I personally think he's hiding in a burqa, and goes wherever he damn well pleases. Cave on the Pakistan border, my foot.)

It certainly wouldn't hurt to just once try a radically different approach and it would be fascinating to see what happens.

Another name for this approach is "turning the other cheek," something advocated by none other than Jesus Christ, whom much of our country claims to regard as the savior of the human race. Maybe Jesus should have just made a movie about it, since, apparently, everyone thinks it's a fairy tale anyway.

Birthday

I had forgotten today was my birthday until Rex mumbled something about the dogs leaving a birthday present for me in the bathroom. Someone had inadvertently shut them in there overnight, and instead of barking insanely and scratching at the door to let us know, they just amused themselves by ripping open a trash bag that had been put in there for the express purpose of not letting them do what they did with it.

Usually we get a big snowstorm on my birthday. The weather being what it is this year, we are getting a big rainstorm instead. It would snow if it could!

I've been thinking about when I was 17, and if I could have envisioned where I am today, 40 years later. Did I think I would be:

1. 30 pounds overweight? (no, but I never thought I WOULDN'T be, either)

2. Married? (sort of hoped so)

3. Mother of one? (horrors!)

4. Still searching for a purpose in life? (yes)

5. Not a world-famous author? (no)

6. Sore in practically every tendon? (no)

7. Still trying to play trombone? (no)

8. Desperate for breast-reduction surgery? (no)

9. Afflicted with an inexplicable lust for sparkles? (never!)

10. Still living in Maine? (no)

11. Owner of two shih-tzus? (those aren't real dogs!)

I've either been a major coward or somewhere along the line become inhabited by an alien.

Oh well, I still have my sense of humor! Thank heaven for that!